Hey Spain: You've Got Mail

Dear Spain,

It is in my personal opinion that you immediately review your personal hygiene policies. They are, to say the least, rather hypocritical. Please, let me give you an example:

I have trouble finding your "shower before you enter the swimming pool" rule worthy by any means. Do you really think that running cold water over your body for around 5 seconds (those that even do it properly) removes any form of bacteria, grime, or whatever you think should come off the body before cannonballing into the water? You do realize that pools have chlorine in them for a reason, right? And you don't even post this rule anywhere. You just assume that everyone knows that they have to rinse off before entering the pool. So it's ok for everyone to stare at me and for little children to yell "YOU didn't shower!" from across the pool but it's not ok for me to be grossed out when three different days POOP (yes, I said poop.) is found floating in the pool? And no, I do not mean bird droppings. I mean HUMAN FECAL MATTER. Three times. Hypocrisy? I think yes.

The situation was handled in the following manner: Screaming kiddies (and who knows, maybe even the Pooper him/herself) get the lifeguard's attention that there is "something" floating in the water. Lifeguard investigates. Grabs long pole with net attached and scoops UFO (Unidentified Floating Object) out of the water. Declares it POOP. Chucks it over a fence. And sits back down. Kiddies jump back in the water and go on their merry way. Other neighbors decide to come to the pool. Little do they know what swimmer just crashed their party. Michael Phelps? No. Spongebob Squarepants? No. E.COLI? Bingo.

Spain, did you know that in the United States if this happened said pool would be closed for the rest of the day? Although this may be a slightly drastic and exaggerated move, at least pool-goers can be sure that the proper disinfecting precautions have been taken before setting foot back into no-longer-poop infested waters.

All I'm saying is you've got three (brown) strikes. Not sure if you're familiar with baseball, but usually that means you're out. Get your act together.

Sincerely,

This is Why I Didn't Choose to be an Au Pair at White Water

P.S. Don't even get me started on the fact that you have no means of cleaning off the workout machines at the gym!